wal-mart sushi? good god, i hate consumerism

12 04 2006

now it's time for our LIGHTNING ROUND!!!

DIY Cinema:

alright. i'll admit, i like bad movies. in fact, the only thing i like more than bad movies, are bad movies made by ordinary schmucks with go-nowhere  day jobs. i just feel so much more forgiving for a diy effort than some zillion dollar hollywood p.o.s. i saw the lost skeleton of cadavra this weekend. it was filmed as a homage to atomic-age sci-fi (which is really fun, albeit shitty, in it's own right; Lost in Space for example) and, from writing to end of filming, took 2 weeks and like 100grand (USD) to get done. regardless, i loved it! maybe im a retard of some sort, but i just thought it was hillarious. this leads me to my next point…

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/InTERUpppTI0N/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

today's theme song   omgz
 i also checked out channel101 and channel102 today, after a few months. basically, every month they take submissions of short films and do a film fest sort of thing. here's one of my personal (nsfw)favorites: ignition TV!!

Being a scientist: Lesson 1- note taking

every scientist know you gots to take lots of notes. in every lab, there are handfuls of lab notebooks floating around where you SHOULD be constantly updating your findings. but let's be honest here. researchers are generally pretty quirky and these colourful idiosyncrasies, along with the excitement of actually have your work…work, generally leads to periods where you just don't feel like walking into your office to grab the notebook. here is where the scientist's best friend (not to be confused with the scientist's mistress, lady caffeine) is most warmly welcomed; paper towels. so, to recap:

notebook- organized, in the other room

paper towels- messy, close, easy to throw out, probably close to coffee

questions?

WAY TO GO IRAN!!

i'd just like to congratulate Iran for making the jump to being able to produce nuclear fuel-grade uranium! i figure they've got a couple months till the US orchestrates some bogus reason to attack them; possibly less, since the american people are FINALLY realizing what kind of idiots they elected. twice. (ps. really love that picture in the artcle!)
in a related note, i'd like to wish all us portuguese soccer fans a pre-emptive advancement through the round-robin in the World Cup this june! we all know a country can't fight a war AND play 90 minutes of the world's game! GO TEAM!! now if only we could do something about brazil. i mean, come on…LOOKIT THIS GUY!!!

Have Fun Proctoring: The Sleaze-ball way!!

so you're stuck proctoring a 3 hour exam. you can't really do anything but walk around and be quiet. problem? NO WAY! here are some trusty things to do to stave off boredom.

1. first and foremost. flirt with any and all women. this can be applied to any situation, anywhere, anytime.

2. find the most nervous looking kid. you'll probably be able to smell him cause chances are he hasn't left the library in days. find him and stand right next to him, arms crossed and stare at him. you'll totally ruin his life 🙂

3. look for someone who looks pretty confident. walk over and pretend to read over their shoulder. after 10 seconds or so, let out an obvious sigh and say something along the lines of "whoa, buddy. THAT's not your answer is it? whew! good luck…you're going to need it…" you'll totally ruin his life 🙂    (this one has actually been done to me, way back in first year. it was hillarious.)

4. this is more helpful in small, 50 or so people exams then in the big 500+ers. start assigning mannerisms to people based on their appearence and try to mentally play matchmaker! 100 points if your thoerized couple are dating in real life!!

5. tell one of the other proctors (ESPECIALLY if you don't like said proctor!!) that you suspect someone is cheating.  now just sit back and watch ol' Columbo try to crack this case!

Make like a tree, and get outta here!

someone asked me what my birthday was. i told her i would tell her, but when i did, she would never forget it for the rest of her life. "three years before the day marty mcfly went back to the future" she took the bet…and lost. (don't worry if you don't know. we're both 80's nuts).

THE END

~mad 

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2 responses

12 04 2006
Jamal Jackson

Wow, that was a blog to end all blogs. You must have had a lot of coffee today. Ignition TV rules!

13 04 2006
Mad

i no longer consider coffee and myself as two seperate entities. we’ve evolved a symbiotic relationship that really is benefit to all mankind.

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