so, i honestly set aside some time to write an in-depth post about the tour, since my previous plans of getting drunk kind of fell through. but then i stumbled upon a blog called thejay, who put together a little something about a special actor that holds a special place in my heart.
that’s right. Keanu Reeves.
so, summarizing some of the “thejay” post and the most excellent wikipedia entry on him, cause i know none of you ever read anything i link to, here is why i will officially be punching you in the dick, or vagina (gotta be fair), if you badmouth Keanu:
- he’s canadian
- worked with the following critically acclaimed directors: Francis Ford Coppola, Ron Howard, Bernardo Bertolucci, Gus Van Sant, Sam Raimi, Taylor Hackford, Lawrence Kasdan, Stephen Frears, Richard Linklater
- Deferred part of his salary on The Replacements (2000) so Gene Hackman could be cast.
- Has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
- Has starred in six $100 Million grossing movies.
- Has worked with the following Academy Award winning actors: Al Pacino, Gene Hackman, Rachel Weisz, Charlize Theron, Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, Marisa Tomei, Morgan Freeman, Anthony Hopkins, Emma Thompson, Denzel Washington, Anthony Quinn, Kevin Kline, William Hurt
- Is “The One”.
- He played Buddha.
- he has played: an FBI agent, a cop, a serial killer, a lawyer, a doctor, a dentist, the One, a Quarterback, a musician, an ad exec, a nuclear physicist (hello!), a redneck, a soldier, the freakin’ Buddha, a gay hustler, and a Dog Boy.
- He knows kung fu. Therefore, he can probably kick your ass.
- Sequel made: Bill and Ted 2 — Sequel not made: Speed 2
- Is not a scientologist
- Has worked with (and probably charmed into bed): Charlize Theron, Sandra Bullock, Monica Bellucci, Rachel Weisz, Carrie-Anne Moss, Diane Lane, Connie Nielson, Dina Meyer and Uma Thurman.
- British theater critic Roger Lewis of the Sunday Times in London had this to say about Keanu’s Winnipeg-based performance of The Prince of Denmark in Hamlet: “He quite embodied the innocence, the splendid fury, the animal grace of the leaps and bounds, the emotional violence, that form the Prince of Denmark. He is one of the top three Hamlets I have seen, for a simple reason: he ‘is’ Hamlet.”
- Is 1/16 Portuguese !!!!
- Once worked under the name Chuck Spadina: the worst name i have ever heard in my life
- For nearly a decade following his initial rise to stardom, Reeves lived a vagabond existence in hotels, opting not to buy a house or find a permanent place of residence, despite earning millions.
- Is left-handed AND loves punk rock! (no, i haven’t started talking about myself, we’re still on Keanu).
- He took a significant amount of the profits from his Matrix series and treated the twelve stuntmen who worked on the films to motorcycles.
- The following movies: Bill and Ted 1 AND 2, ParentHood, Point Break, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Speed 1, The Devil’s Advocate, The Matrix 1, Constantine, and (probably awesome) A Scanner Darkly
- He does not practice any particular religion (making him a smart man, in my books)
- He’s excellent at hockey
- He’s totally loves CornFlakes
thus it is proven
Moving on, i’d like to express my bittersweet thanks to the H man showing me this orgy of zombies, blood, hillarity, consumerism and zombies. Now i must save my pennies to buy it and the machine required to play it.