The Real-life story of: SPIDER-TALK

2 09 2006

Before I begin, I’d like to kick it old school, if I may. Here are two selections for today’s soundtrack: Candy Girl and A-B-C

So, as anyone who has talked to me in person, or on MSN, in the last few months has noticed a considerable increase in my use of the term “spider-talk.” Many times I have been asked as to its origins, but most times I just say that I’ll tell it later.

This is that later.

The monday of “March Break” of 2006, and the, now defunct, The Charge played a show in the middle of Victoria Park; in fact, i posted about it the following day. Anyways, one of the stories i left out was the mysterious origin of SPIDERTALK.

That’s right, not just an online haven for spider porn weirdos anymore, spidertalk would become the pinnacle of k-dub lingo and has begun making the break into the virtual world (sttyl ->spidertalk to you later; try it with your friends!).

So in between sets, K-Rot, Lee (The Charge), and me (possibly someone else too, but i forget) are standing around outside the venue talkin’ shit. Suddenly, Christian (Lee’s brother and newset member of the Charge) waltzes up and asks

“Hey…so are we going to play spidertalk tonight?”

Now, the thing about this group of friends is that inside-jokes run rampant. You work overtime for a couple of nights, and bang! it’s like they’re talking a different language. So after the question, we all get that “is this some new inside-joke?” face, about us. After a minute or so, Lee finally gives up and says

“What the fuck are you talking about? What is spidertalk?”

Christian proceedes

“You know, Spidertalk….dun dun dun dun (a little air-bass guitar action accompanys this) spidertalk! spidertalk! (this was said in sort of a southern american blues singer style).”

laughter. everyone in earshot is having fits of laughter for the next few minutes.

Finally, after re-gaining our compusure, Lee asks the obvious

“What the fuck is wrong with you? We don’t have a song called spidertalk?!”


“Yeah…I had, uh, had something to ask and I forgot it, so I didn’t want to look like an idiot…”

This was the birth of spidertalk. Throughout the night, that conversation was told and re-told to those not fortunate enough to be there.

But what sort of legend would it be if that were all to the story?

For the next few weeks, Christian must have gone crazy from having to repeat the spidertalk bass solo. The joke became that “spidertalk” would be a number one hit, and that all the people there could say they liked the song before it was even written (the veritable holy grail of a scenester!). Time passed.”Spidertalk to you later” became a common way of saying goodbye. “Spidertalkin’ to *insert name*” another common use.

A few months later, at some show The Charge played, the chant to play spidertalk began. Christian unleashed the first verse upon the crowd

If you want me/why don’t you stick in my web…..spidertalk! spidertalk!

and since then, it just kept growing, like the proverbial spider’s web! So next time you get a chance, be it online or in real-life, show that your cool and that you’re down with spidertalk!

spidertalk to you guys later !


p.s. If anyone who was there during that boathouse show stumbles across this, feel free to share your spidertalk stories!




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