Wow, my mom has just gone old-school!Coming home for Christmas, after FINALLY moving out (listen. I’m a Portuguese male, and thus I carry the “momma’s boy” gene. It’s a miracle I’m out before I’m hitched
!!), but coming back home to help out around the house was quite a blast this year. As I’m sure is true for a lot of parents who have come from “the old country,” behaviors have changed over time. Gone are the extensively planned, home-cooked masterpiece meals each night. The busy North American schedule doesn’t really give any worker time to handle something like that. Thankfully, I had a relative old-school upbringing (read: full of slaps, screaming, and hard labour). But both of my sisters recieved a little bit more of the western style of parenting, referred to as a “no fucking clue how to raise a kid
” style. Well this year, with tension running high as my mother’s three children were charged with cleaning the house (and keeping my father from messing up anything we’ve cleaned), hints of the old beast came to the surface!! It was an incredible spectacle to behold!
“hey, daughter, can you please clean this up?”
“no, i’m watching tv…”
(a sly smile creeps across my mother’s face, followed what seems like the sound of snapping twigs.)
“GET OFF YOUR USELESS ASS, AND GET TO WORK! (mom’s strength kicks into overdrive, as she seems to lift and hurl my sister across the room. even after years without use, my Pavlovian response to the initial smile and sanity snap has already spring me to action, working at true immigrant speed!)
It certainly was a sight I missed.
It may not have played out EXACTLY like that, but, hey, I’m here to entertain. Can I be blamed for a little exaggeration?
Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays Everyone!
~Mad and his 9-inch dick