Live-blogging Useless 101

23 01 2008

Get ready kids, cause we’re fucking learning!

Here’s the skinny with this post. As of this second, I’m sitting in class learning about…searching the web.

rrright.

So, instead of listening (this is a graduate level course, mind you), I’m going to live blog it! woo!

18:47-it’s way too hot in here. got through typing the intro above and just clued in to professor Boring-ton. “scientific journals were created hundreds years ago, blah blah blah…”

18:49- ooo! a handout!…search assignment….good lord. are they kidding? it’s a little known fact that grad student are kings of the google search. fuckin’ google searches us, when it needs to get shit done!

18:53- unbelievable, after last weeks TWO hour class about searching the web basic, we’re going over again. “remember to you AND or OR in your searches to improve your results…” I’m sorry to all of you. These are going to be joke-less hours.

18:54-man, today, while I did my ritualistic morning blog check, I found a crazy link! I guess some group made a ridiculous SNES-style game about Charles Barkley!! You guys have got to see this! Remind me and I’ll link to it net post. Which is hopefully soon.

19:02- still on the review, so i’m going to go ahead and post a link to that game. CHARLEY BARKLEY!

19:08- this is really a very odd experience. the prof talk about searching databases for 10 minutes, and honestly doesn’t really say much, and then she goes to the computer (projected onto a screen at the front of the room, obviously) and proceedes to work through EXACTLY what she just said. But, she fiddles around like she has no idea what she’s doing. Just muttering. It’s kind of funny that this web search-ologist, or whatever her title is, still sits here and mutters about not finding what she wants to find. “is this it? nope, no, that’s not it. hmm, this looks interesting. don’t need that.”

19:12- These two hours are evidence that a reality show based on web searching would never fly…

19:14- hey, if anyone out there know a book publisher, I have a really great book idea. It’d be a cookbook, that’s doesn’t have recipes, just good combination. Like a bunch of food flow charts. So it’ll be like, “Chicken–> Do you have lemon? Yes-> grill with salt and pepper. No-> Do you have tomatoe and onion? Yes->Throw in together with chicken, and wine and bake.” So, just a bunch of simple combinations that work well, but aren’t really recipes. It’d be called “Cookbook” and you’d throw a stripper cutting a roast with a sabre saw on the cover. BANG! there’s a best seller for ya!

19:23- we just did a search for “vitamin h” to show how one of the science databases (PubMED) changes your search term. But what i want to know is, what the heck is vitamin h?

ooo! also known as Biotin, it’s used in fat and amino acid metabolism. as well as cell growth. it maintains nail and hair strength! and the bacteria in your guts makes a hell of a lot of it! Highfive bacteria!!

19:35- i just realized that i’ve been totally zoned out for the last ten minutes. i’m getting very close to live-blogging what i wish would happen in Useless 101…

19:40- my goodness! finally done review. going to learn about e-alerts that basically kick you in the ass whenever new papers in your field come out (which, for a scientist, is very useful!)

19:48- whew! we’re cooking now! along with a bit of actual interesting stuff (creating some of the dorkiest rss feeds ever !!), my multitasking skills are being tested with this window, the bbc, and messenger all blinking at me!!

20:03- this is actually pretty crazy. you can get email alerts and rss feeds for anything! as an example, this would be the same as getting notified whenever google had a new site about “cherry pie” added, if you were someone who really likes cherry pie (or vaugue sexual innuendo, i guess…)

20:06- this must be how SKYNET got out of control in Terminator. I mean one day the internet is telling you to read this, wash that, eat at this time, go to sleep now, etc; next minute, POW! fucking email alert to bow down to robotic overlords! (This made sense in my brain…somehow)

20:08- oh boy, the prof is going on with a “in my day story”…

20:09- “this is not the dark ages, im talking about. its not that long ago…”    Yeah, yeah. Save it, grandma!

20:29- well that’s it. the last twenty minutes kind of fizzeled away. two hours gone from my life! yeah, grad school!!!

Oh what could have been…

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